I didn't want kids

It's true, I didn't. But life has a way of turning the thing you never wanted into the thing you can't live without. But in the spirit of full disclosure, I confess there was a time in my life that I didn't want kids. Before I got married, I was pretty convinced kids weren't in my future. But now I can't even remember life without them. And I don't want to. Before having kids, there were lots of things that I thought motherhood was. And wasn't. And most of them were wrong. Here's what I've learned motherhood IS -

Motherhood really IS carrying your heart outside your body.
Motherhood is also LOSING your body. At least for a time. For a period, however brief or long, your body does not belong to you. (And you may never truly get it back)
Motherhood is sleeplessness.
Motherhood is falling asleep at any moment because you're so tired, you just don't care that you're sitting in line at the DMV. You're not in motion and dammit, that's all you need to be able to catch a few zzz's right now.
Motherhood is writing this blog over the shoulders of my preschooler because she won't get out of my lap...
Motherhood is consoling, reprimanding, refereeing, and even snuggling - all while sitting on the toilet.
Motherhood is saying things you never thought ANYONE would ever need to say. ("You can't finish building that Lego creation because the piece you're missing is in your ear.")
Motherhood is wanting NOTHING MORE than time to yourself to "un-mom", but instantly missing them so much it physically hurts as soon as you're away from them.
Motherhood is opening your fridge to see a stormtrooper on the shelf.
Motherhood is experiencing every possible emotion, from giddiness to disappointment, frustration to laughter, pure and complete bliss to borderline-murderous intent...all at the hands of your child.
Motherhood is wondering if EVERYTHING your child does is "normal".
Motherhood is wondering if EVERYTHING you say or do will cause your child some sort of trauma later in life (or not-so-much-later)
Motherhood is thinking about everything you feed your child.
Motherhood is giving up what you want, to give your child what they need.
Motherhood is multiple pee-stops on the side of the highway because they just.can't.hold.it.
Motherhood is sniffing your kids butt in public.
Motherhood is trying to keep your mouth shut and your hands to yourself so they can learn how to do it themselves.
Motherhood is putting yourself last. A lot.
Motherhood is FUN.
Motherhood is forming weird, random, amazing friendships with other moms simply because you're both moms. ("Hey, we have the same job! We should be friends!"....for the record, this would be weirdly inappropriate in any other avenue of life.)
Motherhood is knowing all the words to the Doc McStuffins theme song.
Motherhood is having REALLY personal conversations about your body, your kids body, or other random things with other moms because they totally get it.
Motherhood is knowing your kid is trying to sneak something from the kitchen, simply by the way the floor creaks.
Motherhood is LAUNDRY. Always laundry.
Motherhood is feeling like a terrible person in the moments when you don't like your kid.
Motherhood is thinking your kid is cuter than any other kid. Ever.
Motherhood is comparing poop stories with your friends. And not even thinking twice about it.
Motherhood is having a seriously tight friendship with your coffee maker.
Motherhood is being in a dead sleep, but still hearing your child crying from upstairs and through two closed doors. (and instantly knowing which of your children is crying)
Motherhood is constantly pushing YOURSELF so they see it, and model it.
Motherhood is closing the door to your child's room after a REALLY hard day together, and then immediately feeling guilty for being a "bad parent", and going back in to snuggle before they fall asleep.
Motherhood is being CRAZY EXCITED when your kid does the smallest of things on their own for the first time. (And annoying all your Facebook friends with an absurd amount of posts about it)
Motherhood is an exercise in guilt.
Motherhood is an exercise in pure joy.
Motherhood is navigating the world of giant emotions inside tiny bodies.
Motherhood (of boys) is pee on the toilet seat. And the floor. And the wall. And the toilet tank. And the scented candle sitting on the toilet tank.
Motherhood is being a horse, a swing, a slide, a sandwich, a boat, etc....all with your body. (yes, a sandwich)
Motherhood is amazing.
Motherhood is frustrating.
Motherhood is the hardest job ever. Ever. EVER.
Motherhood is the best job ever. Ever. EVER.


See? Sandwich.