...I don't want much

What do I want? I've been thinking of and compiling this post for awhile now, and with Mother's Day just behind us, it finally seemed a good time to put pen to paper (or fingers to keys I suppose, in this case)

I want kids who trust us. Who trust us not to tear them down when they've made a mistake. Who trust us to be there for them when they need us, no matter the reason. Who trust us enough to include us in their lives as they grow. I want to foster an open line of communication that never closes. Rather than control, I want influence over our kids. I want them to know and understand the reasons behind the things we ask of them and have them trust us enough to know as they get older that we will only ask things of them that will be good for them. I want to create an atmosphere in our home that builds and fosters trust...
I want kids who explore. Who get dirty and ask questions and seek out the answers they don't have. I want them to have space enough to do that. Room to go outside and dig in the dirt and run and touch and really experience the earth. I want to learn more about plants and gardening and growing things so that I can pass that on to them. I want them to have a solid appreciation for not just where food comes from, but also the process of how things grow. I want them to have a respect and understanding of nature...
I want to learn more about solid, real nutrition so I can pass that knowledge to them now. So they will grow up with a healthy foundation and a clear understanding of the profound effects - both good and bad - that our food has on our body. I want to teach them the importance of getting outside and just MOVING on a regular basis, in whatever fashion. Running, biking, swimming, playing....whatever. Just MOVING. Growing up, those were things I never learned. And now, 31 years into life, I'm still trying to learn them and retrain my brain. And some of those 31 years have been HARD because the importance of truly caring for my body - beyond just the number on the scale - was just not something that was taught...
I want kids who understand and appreciate the importance of being responsible with money. Who understand where it comes from and how to manage it. I want grateful kids who appreciate the things they have, and who understand that it's okay to want things. But that it's not okay to be consumed by that desire. I want them to know that the meaning of "success" doesn't mean "being rich"...
I want kids who respect other people, no matter what. I want them to know how important it is to treat people with kindness, and to stand up and do something when they see someone being treated unkindly. I want them to know that everyone deserves to be treated with respect and kindness, regardless of who they are and what they look like or what they believe. I want them to be courageous enough to sit with the weird kid on the bus, or befriend the strange coworker when they get older...
I want them to understand the importance of being responsible for themselves and their own space. Not just so they keep things clean - though of course, that helps! But so they understand the value of taking pride in and taking care of their own things, and by extension, themselves. I want them to know that it's not someone else's job to take care of their stuff, so that as they grow, they know it's not someone else's job to take care of them. I want them to learn how to be responsible for themselves and own their actions...
I want them to be strong and confident enough to always be who they really are. To embrace it and never be ashamed or apologize for it...

But here's the catch. I can't simply TEACH any of this. I have to MODEL it for them, so they know what it all looks like. And a lot of these traits are things that I struggle with regularly. Which is exactly why it is so important to me that they learn these things. I want them to learn the basics of these things now, so that as they grow, these traits and values become second nature. So these things become part of them. And in THIS way, and so many others, this is how my children will refine me and make me a better person. They push me daily to overcome my own personal challenges, if for no other reason than to let them SEE me overcome my challenges. What an enormous amount of pressure, but what an amazing gift and opportunity.

I confess I don't want much...just all the same things every mother wants. Happy (belated) Mother's Day to all of you who shares these thoughts, desires, frustrations, and so much more. You're doing a great job!