It's dark down here

"It's dark down here.
The small amount of light that filters in from the top of the hole you're in illuminates everything from above....so that nothing looks as it should. Which is kind of okay, since there's not much down here that you care about anyway. All that stuff - all the things you care about - is up there, on the outside of the hole.
There are mirrors down here but the darkness distorts....you won't recognize yourself.
There are no clocks down here. They would be irrelevant....days crawl by like weeks, but weeks fly by like minutes.
Oddly, the darkness changes your voice as well. You will hear it leave your lips and wonder who is speaking...who is saying these words, why do they always sound so angry?
Thoughts don't work the same down here either. Disjointed, jumbled, unfinished.
I liken it a bit to the rabbit hole Alice found herself tumbling down, complete with the pale blue "Eat Me" cookie. Because everything around you feels gargantuan. Everything makes you feel as though you are pint-sized compared to whatever "it" is.
For me at least, this is what depression and anxiety feels like. Like I'm stuck at the bottom of a dark hole...."

....These were words I wrote almost 2 years ago to the day. I had forgotten about them. I came here  today to write about something completely unrelated, and found the draft above. I had forgotten the depth of the darkness I felt. And for a moment, I felt it creep in....I felt the edge of darkness and doubt reaching out like tendrils. But just as quickly, I felt immense gratitude. Gratitude for how far I've come. How much work I've done. For the people who loved me enough to hold my hand and hold me up. Who helped me peel apart my layers and dig down deep and find strength and confidence I had forgotten. Mostly for the women in my life who have become my tribe, my village, my family. They became - and remain - my life support. Without them, I have no doubt I would find myself in the darkness again.

Mental health matters. YOU matter. It's okay to not be okay. Let the ones around you love you. Let them hold you up. Let them pick up your feet for you and place one in front of the other, over and over if necessary. You are too important and too bright and too shiny to let your light disappear into the darkness.