After the Great Gilbert Migration of 2011, I ended up having to work a full-time, 5 day a week job. Ever since Nicholas was born, I'd only ever worked 3 days a week. I never anticipated how challenging it would be to make the transition from 3 days to 5 days. I had been working 40 hours prior to the move, but had had the luxury of spacing out my hours so that I worked every other day. It truly was the perfect balance of work and home life. However, now after almost 10 months of Monday-Friday 8-5 shifts, that balance has fallen apart. I spend every day in a mad dash to get ready for school and work, get to work, get things done, get to the daycare before they close, get dinner ready, get bath ready, get ready for bed.....always getting things ready. Each day feels like a race to the finish line, and by the time I get there, I'm so exhausted I don't have the energy to do anything else. All my housework seems to pile up until the weekend, and then I can't enjoy my weekend because I'm constantly doing housework. And none of this even takes into account the amount of quality time I'm NOT spending with my kid. Sorry, I don't count plopping him in front of The Backyardigans while I cook dinner as "quality time". Effective, yes. Quality, no.
On top of this frustration, it was slowly becoming clear to me that the industry I've been in for almost 8 years is not where I want to be long term. 8 years ago, I took a job that I got because I knew the right people. I knew nothing about the healthcare or home medical supply industry or medical billing. As it turned out, I actually happened to be really good at it, and got really comfortable doing it. There are absolutely things I love about my job. I truly love being able to provide patients with what they need to more comfortably live their lives at home. And if I can do that in a way that doesn't cost them a fortune, even better. But over the years, it's gotten harder and harder to do that due to increasing insurance and government regulations, and decreasing insurance payments. In short, my ability to do my job has been compromised by those who make my job possible. The more I really thought about it, the more I realized this was not a path I wanted to continue down. And certainly not one worth continuing down at the expense of my family.
So here I go. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous (okay...scared out of my frickin' GOURD!) about the prospect of being unemployed for the first time since I was 15. I've been working literally almost half my life. I am actually going to apply for some part-time work, something simple, for a few hours a week. I think what I loved so much about my previous schedule was the balance it provided me to have some adult interaction...a life outside of the home, while also giving me plenty of time with Nick. It will also give Nick a chance to have some play time with other kids for awhile. But, that's not really my overall goal for now. If I find something, great. If I don't, that's okay too.
I know it will be a massive challenge to get accustomed to being a single-income family. But for once, I'm not worried about it. I've spent weeks, months even, stressing about the logistics of how to plan for my eventual departure from work. But now that it's upon us, I feel no stress. It took me forever to finally make the decision to pull the trigger and actually do it, but now that I have...I confess I am totally at ease.
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