...I hate talking. And I do it a lot.

Talking, talking, talking. All I do is talk. And talk. And then talk some more. Talk about what we're doing for the day. Talk about who needs to do what. Talk about who needs to NOT do what. Talk about what I need to do. Talk about losing my mind. And then when the talking doesn't work (because it never does), then the yelling. The yelling, yelling, yelling. With Mother's Day in the recent rearview, there were the usual snarky FB memes floating around about what mom's really want for Mother's Day. (ex: "I just want to sleep all day and wake up to a clean house"....BTW, husbands - that gift is ALWAYS what moms want) But you know what I want? I want a day with no talking. I'm.so.tired.of.talking. Talking to my kids, listening to them argue with me. Talking, talking, talking.
No doubt, I love talking WITH my kids. Having those precious conversations about their daily discoveries and the silly things we discuss and just hanging with them. They are awesome little people, and I am so grateful that they are mine. But I am so worn out from talking TO them. Instruct them. Remind them. Remind them some more. Issue out consequences for not doing the thing I've now reminded them to do 723 times. Explain the reasons behind said consequence. Argue some more about the consequence. (Have you ever tried to reason with a 6 year old...or worse yet, a 3 year old? It's an exercise in absolute madness and torture)
I get it now. You know those mamas that practice this "peaceful parenting", this "mindfulness" that Facebook memes poke fun at? Well guess what....they aren't talking. Not like you and me. They've strategically (and yes, mindfully) remembered what we've forgotten. Our kids are PEOPLE. And as such, our kids don't respond to being "talked to" any more than you or I would. These moms (freaking parenting gurus that they are) have figured out that if they treat their kids like PEOPLE, their kids will treat THEM like people. But even without meaning to, I treat my kids like subjects...to be bent to my will and instruction for I am Mommy and I rule over all. And they are rising up in rebellion. Mutiny is certainly afoot. A coup is being staged.
So you know what I need to do? I need to shut up. I need to step back and let them do. Or not do...and then feel the consequence for stepping over the line, rather than constantly talking and reminding them that they are about to step over it. Because you know what my current approach actually accomplishes? Zero. Unless you count frustration, irritation, yelling, and temper tantrums (occasionally from the kids too!) as "accomplishments". And then they STILL step over the proverbial line, because amidst AALLLL my words, they miss the message and no longer even know where the freaking line is.
But even worse than that, I'm inadvertently training them to tune me out. "Mom's talking again...no need to listen, she's just repeating what she's already said." Seriously, who wants to listen to someone who never.shuts.the.hell.up?? "Be careful, calm down, stop running, walking feet, please be quiet, it's not time for snack, no TV right now, stop that, please don't, be kind to your sister, hands aren't for hitting, don't speak to each other like that, don't open that, close the fridge, NO we're still not watching a show and on and on and on and on"....for the love, I never.stop.talking. Even I'm tired of my talking; I know they are tired of it. Command after command after command. No wonder they want to either ignore me or try to push back. Hell, I would to if I were them.
I'm shooting myself in the foot with literally every single encounter with them where I talk, talk, talk, talk, freaking TALK. Say what you mean, mean what you say. The end. If I could master that, I might actually get them to listen.
Who knows...maybe we should talk about it some more ;)