And I'd like to politely request that it leave me the hell alone.
It is no secret to anyone that I was, shall we say, a "spirited" child. It is truly a testament to the power of sheer self-control on my parent's part (and my sister's) that I survived my childhood and teen years. People say that a lot, but seriously. If I was my parents, I probably would have found a good place to hide my body.
So, when the possibility of having my own children entered my life, I have to admit that there was a legitimate part of me that was hesitant. I knew what was coming for me. I'd like to also add that Jason was a bit of "spirited" child himself. We were convinced our child would be the culmination of our childhood selves, come to torment us in revenge for our parent's suffering.
But when Nicholas was born, we were baffled. He was immediately an amazingly easy child. From one week old, he slept in his room with no trouble. He was sleeping through the night at 5 months old, and still sleeps roughly 10-11 hours straight every night. He's not a picky eater. He says please and thank you at the appropriate times. He's out-going and friendly. He behaves himself when we go out to eat (mostly). We couldn't understand it. We were so amazed by the presence of the complete opposite of our expectations. Our running joke is that Nicholas is the buffer, the prep child so to speak, for our next child that will surely be the "payback" we've been awaiting.
Well, the joke is over. Our "amazingly easy child" now presents with daily challenges we feel unfit to battle. None of our parenting experience has prepared us for a child who tells us "no" at every request. For a child who replies, "I will NOT put my cup in the sink.", or "Yes you will turn on Thomas!!". Or my personal favorite - a child who laughs at me while continuing to do the very thing I've specifically just forbade him from even thinking of ever doing again.
Karma, you sneaky devil. You had us convinced we would have some notice, a whole new child to prepare for before having to enter the battlefield of troublesome children. You pulled the wool over my eyes, and allowed me to believe - if even for a second - that I had maybe, just maybe, been given a brief reprieve from the retribution that is surely coming for me.
Silly mommy...
